In the Name of Love

“It is the sweetest thing; it is a red, red rose; it is a battlefield;
it is a drug, a delusion, a lunacy. It is the answer, and the
question. It is a balm, and a piercing arrow. H. L. Mencken
compared it to perceptual anaesthesia; Keats wrote that it was
his religion; Shakespeare called it a familiar, a devil, an ever-fixed
mark, a smoke, a fire, a sea, a madness, a fever, a choking gall;
it is like sunshine after rain, and does not bend.”
– Sarah Vine and Tania Kindersley
The Times (London)
February 14, 2009

We live in a society consumed by love. Stories of love have served as the centerpiece to most every book, play, movie, and song for hundreds of centuries. Even Plato has something to say about love: it is a mental disease. From an early age, we are conditioned to believe that finding love is life’s true calling, and without it we are incomplete. As written in a January 2008 article titled “A four-letter word that takes time to learn” published in The Canberra Times, “The L-word is one of the most hyped-up in the English language. We are told love is all you need, love conquers all, love holds us together, love comes to those who wait. We begin to think of it as some almighty force with the power to save, or destroy a relationship in one fell swoop.” Does love serve a biological purpose, as it does not take love to reproduce? How much of our desire to fall in love is biologically based and how strong of an influence does culturally based expectations have on our yearning to find our own fairytale romance?

Antonia Senior of The Times (London) once wrote, “We have been bequeathed an idea that the ultimate goal is love; that the answer to the fundamental questions of the why and how of life are found in a ditzy, sugar-crusted fairytale. We have based an entire civilization on the idealized pursuit of a temporary hormonal imbalance in the brain.” Here, Senior takes the viewpoint that love is something that has been over emphasized to the point of becoming the main objective of human existence, when it is just a spurt of biological disparity. While the remark of love being a ‘hormonal imbalance’ may be too discrediting of such a mysterious phenomenon, cultural influence has forced society to make a terrible fuss over the need to fall in love.

French cynic La Rochefoucauld once said, “People would not fall in love if they had not heard love talked about.” And how can we not hear about love? Even at an early age, children grow up on Disney films where, the majority of the time, there is some variation of a fairytale ending. Messages of love do not ease up with age, either. Growing up in the 90’s, the most popular songs held titles like, “I Will Always Love You”, “Vision of Love”, “Only Wanna Be With You”, “You’re Still the One”, “I’ll Be”, and “Can’t Live Without Your Love and Affection”. These titles alone are enough to represent the common love theme. These themes continue to live in the first decade of 2000, with such love story centered movies such as Moulin Rouge, Slumdog Millionaire, Shrek, Finding Neverland, and Brokeback Mountain stealing box office attention. With the constant saturation of love-against-the-odds-and-at-all-costs stories in everyday culture, it is no wonder that almost everyone is racing to find love of their own.

There is nothing else in society that perpetuates us to do crazy and irrational things. As Vine and Kindersley wrote in The Times, “[Love] is what drives you to offer yourself to another human for the rest of your natural life, but only a few years later you may look back and have no memory at all of that initial ecstasy. Romantic love can be so confusing that sometimes you simply want to give up on the whole thing and concentrate on the nature of dark matter, or macroeconomics, or something else less tiring.” Personally I have more experience with macroeconomics than love, but the concept of love still fascinates me. Though there are over twenty definitions of love in the dictionary, for centuries people have struggled to actually define and explain what love truly is. Intangible and subjective, the meaning of love is endlessly varying dependent on the source.

Love is essential to an enriching life. But is romantic love meant for everyone? Perhaps cultural expectations have caused people who would have otherwise disregarded romantic love to think that is was a necessity to the human purpose. It is possible to lead a fulfilling life without a significant other, in fact people do it all the time. But these ‘love minorities’ are what the love majorities fear: a lifetime of supposed loneliness from the missing element of sharing a life with a romantic partner. Isn’t the love of family and friends enough, if one so chooses it to be? Why try to fit yourself into a love structure that you may not see yourself fit for?

I’m guilty of being in the love majority, fearing living out the rest of my life without knowing what it means to romantically love another. However, I can sympathize with those who feel that romantic love may not be suitable for them. Just as I don’t believe in soul mates, I also believe that some individuals can lead just as satisfying lives without romantic commitment as those who choose to journey through life with another. The pressure these individuals face to find love is unfair given their own personal needs. After a Thanksgiving holiday with the family constantly chirping, “So are you dating anyone?”, “When are you going to bring a boy home?”, and “Chelsea, you need a boyfriend!”, I fully understand the frustrations of dealing with the culturally, and family, based pressure to be in love.

Love, being as impossible to grasp as it is, is something I continue to think about in daily life. Its representation in society and media continues to remain a popular trend and constantly redefines what is acceptable for love. Instead of trying to fit love in a Hollywood or fairytale form, however, perhaps it is time for people to approach it in their own individual way, realizing that what is desirable for some may not be desirable for others.

The Price of a Crown

You’re backstage among a mob of beauty pageant contestants all prepared for the competition. Hair dos are strategically held in place with hairspray, faces are flawlessly made up, and costumes are fit to their most flattering forms. The only problem? These aspiring beauty queens are all under the age of five. While this may sound like a rare circumstance, toddler beauty pageants are becoming increasingly popular. Following the success of the 2006 movie
Little Miss Sunshine and the introduction of TLC’s television series Toddlers in Tiaras, more and more parents are enrolling their young daughters into competitions primarily focused on beauty and physical composure. Today, I will discuss the effect on both body image and the perception of self-worth that these pageants potentially have on young girls, as well as how parental and media standards are adding fuel to the fire.

Many of these young toddlers are first introduced to the world of beauty pageants by their mothers, many of who are ex-pageant contestants themselves. Much concern is raised over whether or not parents are forcing their children into an activity against the child’s will. David Hinkley cited an example of this in a January 2009 Daily News article. In it, Hinkley tells the story of three-year-old Marleigh, whose mother insists, loves pageants. All the while, Marleigh is, quote, “…crying, balking, throwing herself on the floor and otherwise looking like someone just decapitated her favorite doll.” Not only does forcing a child into an undesired activity have current consequences, but it can also lead to trouble years down the road. A 2009 Associated Content article interviewed Annie Gershwitz, who started enrolling her now seventeen-year-old daughter in pageants at the age of ten. Because of a demanding pageant schedule, Annie’s daughter suffered academically and now faces not being able to graduate on time. The response from her mother was as follows: “I guess it’s partially my fault…I know she has what it takes to be model material and hit it big someday. She doesn’t need a high school diploma to make heads turn, that’s for sure.” Annie Gershwitz placed more importance on her daughter’s beauty than on her academic success, and as a result it was her daughter who was ultimately punished.

Some parents that are enrolling their daughters in these beauty competitions will go to almost any measure to see their daughter take home the crown. Examples of some of the extreme modifications these young girls go through include spray tans, hair extensions, and flippers, which are false teeth inserted to cover any gaps in teeth. Beyond the hours of primping that occur directly before the competition, these toddlers are subject to hours of rehearsal in preparation for the event. Perhaps neither of these points are as shocking as the financial investments some parents are willing to place on toddler pageantry. According to a televised August 2009 ABC News report, many parents are willing to spend several thousand dollars on their daughters’ potential pageant success. Mickie Wood, mother of a 4-year-old pageant participant Eden, “said she can afford the $70,000 she’s spent on necessities for Eden, such as professional photos, spray tanning, coaching and $3,000 dresses.” Shouldn’t we question the lessons these influential children are learning from their parents?

Parents aren’t the only source over emphasizing the importance of outer beauty. In today’s society, young girls are subjected to nearly 500 advertisements a day, according to an April 2009 Newsweek article by Jessica Bennett. This saturation of advertisements featuring rail thin models and airbrushed faces has detrimental effects on the way young girls perceive their own beauty. And now with the introduction of these images coming and an increasingly younger age, more elementary-aged students are dealing with damaged self-esteems. In the article by Jessica Bennett, previously citied, body dissatisfaction begins as early as grammar school. The article states, “According to a 2004 study by the Dove Real Beauty campaign, 42 percent of first- to third-grade girls want to be thinner, while 81 percent of 10-year-olds are afraid of getting fat.” Surely, the emphasis on outer beauty that is encouraged in toddler beauty pageants is not helping to prevent the obsession over weight and physical appearance that many young girls experience.

Pageants focused on outer beauty not only harm perceptions of body image but also self-worth. The previously cited August 2009 ABC News report went behind the scenes to focus on these beauty competitions, including the swimsuit and formal wear portion, which they cite have many psychologists concerned. According to the report, “A 2007 study by the American Psychological Association contends that pageants teach young girls ‘to see themselves as objects to be looked at and evaluated for their appearance’.” This same study linked, quote, “a premature emphasis on appearance with ‘three of the most common mental health problems of girls and women: eating disorders, low self-esteem and depression’.” Young girls are learning that self-worth comes with a price tag in the form of beauty products and enhancements. It is estimated that eight- to twelve-year-olds in America spend more than $40 million a month on beauty products, according to Bennett’s Newsweek article. This is sending youth a deceptive message that not only beauty, but also self-worth, is something that can be bought.

Imagine children, both today and tomorrow, focusing more on facial cream than playground antics. Is this newfound boom in toddler pageantry robbing young children of childhood innocence and forcing them to become obsessed with their looks? Can we really consider this a character building, friendly competition? Beauty pageants may have good intentions of attempting to teach self-confidence, but when these pageants begin to take over normal childhood, they become destructive. Rather than enrolling young girls in pageants before they are old enough to decide for themselves, parents need to allow their children the experience of discovering their own interests and passions. Like the old Aesop fable says, “Outside show is a poor substitute for inner worth.”

A New Facebook Demographic

Like many college students, I frequently find myself uselessly browsing Facebook to put off that assignment for just a few moments longer. Recently while on the site, I stumbled upon an old acquaintance that had recently married. She had posted an album of her husband’s son, from a previous relationship, celebrating his second birthday. Yes, the exciting-yet-terrifying terrible twos. What hadn’t surprised me about this album was the thought that she, by becoming a bride, also signed on to be a 21-year-old mother. Instead, it made me wonder how our Facebook-saturated generation will incorporate the networking site in our future. Furthermore, how will Facebook’s impact on our lives fit into parenthood?

Facebook, founded in February of 2004, originally was restricted to Harvard University students only, but membership opportunities were eventually expanded to all college students. Today, Facebook is open to anyone age 13 and over. Demographically, Facebook users are largely comprised of members between 18 and 24, holding 40.8% of all user memberships.

Facebook holds it’s wide array of appeals for college-aged students. Not only can it be utilized to keep in contact with friends from home, but it is also a tool we can use to contact new friendships being formed in college. With Facebook, we have the opportunity to share photos, videos, personal information, and wall post with as many or as little as we please. In a sense, Facebook is a virtual autobiography for students. We publish our activities, interests, musical preferences, favorite movies, places of employment, and what we are fans of. We allow our friends, networks, and even all Facebook users to have access on this information, publicizing what we want others to see of us.

I remember when the Facebook craze originally started for my age group, once it was open to more than just college students. One exciting aspect of this new Internet frontier was that it was a place not explored by our parents, teachers, bosses, and other superiors. So of course it caught on. It was like living an alternative lifestyle where high school and college students held the majority. However, adults were still permitted access to Facebook. Naturally, it was only a matter of time until the feverish craze caught their attention as well. Parents, teachers, even grandparents can all be found owners of their own profiles. A 2009 Facebook Demographics and Statistics Report shows that membership among 35-54 year olds has risen a startling 267.4% since January of this year. As for members 55 and over, membership has grown 194.3% in the same period of time (http://www.istrategylabs.com/2009-facebook-demographics-and-statistics-report-276-growth-in-35-54-year-old-users/).

By the time today’s parents of high school and college-aged students logged on to Facebook, we had already had the opportunity to explore and establish ourselves with the site ourselves. But what happens when we ourselves grow to the age of parenthood? When I first signed up for Facebook, I held the preconceived notion that it was an account that would not live long past college graduation, seeing as, at that time, it was rare to find a member over the age of 30. Now this age group holds the second largest claim to memberships behind college students. This has caused a shift of opinion on how-old-is-too-old and how-professional-is-too-professional to have a Facebook. The legitimacy of Facebook has grown. It has even been ruled in the Supreme Court of Australian Capital Territory as a legally admissible way to serve court notices to defendants.

Along with this change of legitimacy comes a change in Facebook’s role in society. Now the site is popular for its involvement in not only communication among everyday people, but has also played a huge role in celebrity and politician communication with the public. Celebrities create a common fan base using Facebook, and also have the power to communicate with all who follow their ‘fan’ pages. As for political involvement, a 2008 ABC news report broadcasted that Facebook had created “…a 24-hour-a-day, seven-day-a-week hub of political interaction” (http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/Vote2008/story?id=6172156 &page=1). The same story quoted Columbia University history professor David Eisenbach, “Facebook is going to be a generational transformation of American politics and forever it’s going to change the way campaigns are run.”

Facebook has altered communication in countless ways. But now, back to my original question: How will Facebook’s impact on our lives fit into our parenthood? When we are to be married and begin raising children of our own, will our Facebook accounts still exist? My guess is, probably so. Facebook has become such a staple in our daily communication that I now believe it is nearly as essential as the cell phone. It will certainly be interesting to see a generation who is raised with Facebook, rather than introduced to it in its teenage years. If children see their parents using Facebook, will they be more likely to join the social networking site because it is their “norm”, or will they find an alternative way to communicate amongst each other, much like Facebook was our alternative to e-mail? If our children do decide to join the Facebook community, how will these affect parent-child relations? If a teen chooses not to be Facebook friends with his or her parents, is he or she signaling that there is something that is intentionally being hidden? Probably not, teenagers just want to maintain that social distance between family social life and friend social life. Still, issues such as these may cultivate tensions and hamper trust.

If we, as parents, are to keep our accounts into our middle-aged years, should we consider routinely updating our sites to best fit the stage of our life we are in? For example, once we reach a professional age, maybe it is time to remove those photos of our college party days. After all, would we want our children to have access to images of our keg stand that took place nearly two decades ago? Most likely no.

When new technology emerges, especially in the form of communication, it not only affects our current way of living but also impacts the way future generations communicate. While Facebook has had immeasurable affects on our current lifestyle, I’m interested to see what lies in the future of this international Internet sensation. Time can only tell, and I am sure it will yield interesting results.

Costumer Satisfaction

This next writing has been inspired by my over three and a half years in summer food service working at a small town ice cream and deli shop. My current place of employment, Rita’s Dairy Bar and Deli (located in Grand Rapids, Ohio), has all the charms and hospitalities of any small town business. And while most costumer transactions go without incidents, there are a few essential points of being a respectable costumer that I feel more people need to be aware of. The manager’s job is to inform the employees on how to behave and interact with their costumers, but the job of informant for the costumer on how to treat a server is not a paid position nor is it a guaranteed one. You can fire an employee for a rude offense, but you cannot as easily “fire” a costumer.

Here I have compiled a list of the common peeves that I truly feel costumers should be aware of to insure a satisfactory experience at nearly any eating establishment:

- No matter how regular of a costumer you are, try to avoid the “I’ll have the usual” order. We see countless faces each day, and while we may recognize you by face we may not know your normal menu choice. It saves embarrassment from both parties by just stating exactly what it is that you want.

- Before you step up to order, especially when unfamiliar with an establishment, take a few short minutes to look over the menu. It’s frustrating to list off sizes and prices to a costumer who is standing two feet away from a menu that lists all of this information straightforward.

- After ordering a large order, do not immediately ask us how much you owe. Not even the most mathematically inclined of us can instantly calculate the total of a dinner for three, including tax. Give us a moment to ring up your total, please.

- We post “No Smoking” signs for a reason. Do not smoke. You choose to light up, and it’s likely the your fellow costumers along with the servers would prefer not to smell the aroma of a freshly lit cigarette.

- Yelling at a server will get you nowhere. It puts both costumer and server on immediate defense mode. If you have a concern or complaint, we would greatly appreciate it if you informed us with respect whereupon we will give you the same respect in return and try our best to fix the problem. We want you to enjoy your experience as much as you do.

- Do not expect us to provide identical portion sizes and menu prices as other similar establishments. With that, don’t inform us that you’re hometown ice cream parlor provides bigger cones for a lower price. It won’t win you any special discount; we don’t match our competitor’s prices.

- We thoroughly enjoy seeing children smile over something as simple as an ice cream cone. With that said, if you bring children know what you will order for them ahead of time. Waiting for a child to decide what they want while rehearsing “Uh…uh…uh…” holds up the line and irritates the customers behind you more than it does the servers.

- Be clear and articulate. We’d hate to mess up an order because it was not well understood the first time around.

- Do not assume that food service is an easy job that “anyone can do”. Even after three and a half years at the same eatery, I am constantly learning new things and having to revise previous routines. Like most any job, it is a place where employees strive for constant improvement.

- To go along with the previous point, don’t come with the attitude that teenagers are inferior in intelligence and morals and therefore can be talked down to. Instead, think of this summer job as a financial stepping-stone toward higher education that will ultimately makes us doctors, lawyers, teachers, and entrepreneurs.

Consider that my “Top 10” list, if you will. In conclusion, I sincerely enjoy having the opportunity to regularly serve and interact with my costumers. I know it is my job to hold a percentage of responsibility toward costumer satisfaction, but it is also crucial for the consumers themselves to realize that a portion of their satisfaction comes with their choice of behavior.

Lifetime Achievement

Present American society has us conditioned to believe that success and achievement are to be measured at the peaks of our professional lives. The degree of an individual’s prosperity is most measured at the time where he has obtained not only the highest level of professionalism but also when he has succeeded in creating the ideal personal life where financial, marital, and emotional stability all play a factor. We are trained during our childhoods and early adolescences to get to the point in our middle-aged lives where we can finally say, as long as we were dealt a good hand, that we have accomplished both the professional and personal lives we have spent years working toward.

But what happens next?

Most spend over two decades submerged in an educational setting, from elementary to graduate school, preparing themselves for the ‘Real World’. In this Real World, many will be working on winning highly competitive jobs that will carry and sustain them professionally and personally until retirement. So if success and achievement are measured during the highest point of our careers, does that mean life in retirement should be viewed as a gradual decline of life accomplishment where we are forced to spend our time thinking of our victorious middle-aged lives lost forever in the past? Of course not.

Surely Jerry Herman, the 2009 Special Tony Award winner for Lifetime Achievement in Theatre, would not agree to this condition either. Born in 1931, Herman spent his childhood and adolescence learning how to play the piano and being involved with theatrical production. These experiences prepared him to attend one of the countries most innovated collegiate theatre programs at the University of Miami.

After graduating, Herman moved to New York City in the hopes of continuing his journey toward Broadway success. Although Herman was involved with many recognized Broadway musicals, none received more notice than the still-popular Hello, Dolly! During its first season, Hello, Dolly! won a total of 10 Tony Awards, a record that held in the books for a total of 37 years. Herman’s composition of Hello, Dolly! also has grown to be one of the most popular and widely recognized Broadway tunes. It’s easy to think that during the time of Hello, Dolly!, Herman had seen his own peak of professional achievement.

Lifetime achievement, however, cannot occur in youth or even in middle age. It can only arise from life long dedication to, as in Jerry Herman’s case, theatre. Seeing the 78-year-old man accepting his award, an award previously given to a long line of theatrical legends, was a truly inspirational moment. In this moment, I realized that no one should measure their life success by events that happened only half way through the journey but should instead be measure his achievement in retrospect by holding value in the moments that occurred during each stage of life that helped direct him to the present.

Jerry Herman waited nearly 80 years for his lifetime achievement. I’m willing to continue working and waiting for mine, and I hope my peak comes much later in life. I’d rather continue an uphill climb to stop at the top rather than prematurely rush to the top then finish my life aimlessly wandering downhill.

Days of Promise

All too often a day passes by and we wonder if it had any significance spanning across more than just that day. Stuck in the routine of waking up, spending hours at work, then continuing our work into the evening hours, it’s easy to be persuaded that we are stuck in a rut of pattern with little flexibility for any out-of-the-ordinary occurrences. But the potential each day has should not be taken for granted. Not one day has a greater probability of housing history than any other, therefore each day should be considered for what it could store. Take today, May 25th, for example.

Throughout the years, this one particular day out of three hundred and sixty-five has seen its fair share of historically altering moments and holds the promise of sustaining an infinite number more. Holding special meaning to the birth of this nation, May 25th marked the gathering in Philadelphia for Constitutional Convention in 1787. Lasting nearly four months, the importance of this meeting explains itself entirely without the use of words and eventually led to the creation of the United States Constitution. Without this, no one can say with certainty whether or not America would exist as an independent nation or rather still be overshadowed by Great Britain’s rule.

May 25th, 1803 marks the birth of the famous poet Ralph Waldo Emerson as well. And though his birth alone was not recognized as a historic event at the time, his existence ultimately led to his life as a remarkable poet. Also a triumphant essayist and philosopher, Emerson wrote numerous pieces and forever changed the art of poetry.

Nearly 150 years after the 1787 Constitutional Convention, America’s past time witnessed one of its all-time most valued players hit the final homerun of his career. May 25th, 1935, legend Hall of Famer Babe Ruth sent his 714th homerun sailing through the air, inspiring fans of the day and baseball enthusiast for years to come. Babe Ruth’s name, adorned in legacy, became a staple to the game of baseball for years past his era and continues to dominate today.

On this day in 1961, President John F. Kennedy challenged the nation to come together for a common goal. During an escalation of the Cold War, President Kennedy reassured the nation of American strength and ability to rise to the occasion by showing his support of the Apollo program, stating, “We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too.” This push toward space exploration, of course, led to several other missions and to this day has helped our nation and the NASA program to further enhance a better understanding of the vast universe that surrounds our earth.

The television entertainment industry also viewed a notable change on May 25th, but this time in the year 1992. After his thirty-year reign as the host of The Tonight Show, Johnny Carson bid his final farewell to his fans and handed his adored show to its current late night host, Jay Leno. This transition was historic largely due to Carson’s popularity among late night audience members and the degree of respect held toward Carson by other well-known celebrities. Though the late Carson is no longer able to entertain audiences directly, his influence has inspired many successful comedians, including Jay Leno, David Letterman, Conan O’Brien, Kathy Griffin, Jerry Seinfeld, and Ellen DeGeneres, to pursue comedy full-time and have provided America with countless cultural references and good-hearted laughs.

As said before, May 25th has had a decent number of historic events recorded under its name and is sure to have many more. Despite the importance of the events that occurred on this day, it is important to realize that these events could have taken place on any day of the year. But as time, or possibly fate, would have it, these all took place on the same particular day. Tomorrow marks many important anniversaries as well, such as Lyndon B. Johnson avoiding impeachment by one vote in 1968. Tomorrow is a unique May 26th, the only one to ever exist in the year 2009. It is impossible to know what history may be made tomorrow or who will be born to one day become famous, but the capacity is enough to keep me looking forward to my tomorrows, enjoying my todays, and appreciating my yesterdays.

A Letter of Personal Growth

Dear Chelsea,

As you quickly approach your final week and a half as a freshman at Miami University, I think it is important for you to reflect on how much you have changed in the past nine months. Remember the night before you left for college? You sat out with your best friend and the two of you cried as if you’d never see each other again because you were going to live three hours apart but had not yet become accustomed to spending a day apart. Think how much that has changed. You’ve learned that relationships can sustain and continue to thrive despite inconvenient distances and frustrating schedules.

Your level of independence has blossomed as well. Coming to Miami, you were the only freshman who graduated from Otsego High School. Actually, you were only one of two people from Otsego who chose to attend Miami at all. Finding yourself living with complete strangers and virtually knowing nobody on campus, you learned to adjust your comfort zone and branch out to those around you. As result, you have formed new friendships that you honestly cannot picture your life without.

This isn’t to say you were never homesick, but it wasn’t until months into school that you started paining to go home. With the death of your best friends mother, you hated that you were three hours away during one of her greatest times of need. You hated the fact that while her other friends were there to help comfort her in person, you had to sympathize over text messages and phone conversations. You even hated yourself for choosing to move off to a school three hours away and wondered why you were the one who couldn’t be content with staying near those most important to you. Then during the following semester, another important figure in your life lost her father, so you had to again deal with the upset that despite wanting to beside a friend more than anything in the world, sometimes the best thing you can do is be there in thought. You have dealt with unfair losses on two occasions, but each time you grew a little and discovered what truly makes a friendship substantial.

With every loss comes an opportunity for great gain. As a freshman at Miami University, you really got your foot in the door. Within months of starting school, you were invited to have dinner at President Hodges house, Lewis Place. You were so nervous of making yourself sound like an idiot that you barely talked, which you came to regret later. Nevertheless, it was an enriching experience that sparked an enthusiasm to establish yourself deeper within the campus community. You took a lot of interest in College Democrats and soon found yourself constantly campaigning for democratic ideals. You continued to work hard for the group which got you an invitation to go on a university funded trip to Washington D.C. as a part of the government relations program. In the spring semester, you were elected as the College Democrat’s secretary for your sophomore year making you the only sophomore on executive board for the 2009-2010 school year.

Academically, you fell in love with the whole “liberal arts education” concept. Though you enjoyed your classes in high school, college finally started providing you the kind of challenge you were searching for. You were being urged to think critically and analytically about course content and how it is applicable to other aspects of life. Because of this, you once again were sparked with a familiar enthusiasm that encouraged you to push yourself toward academic success. The hard work and dedication toward your studies paid off as you were accepted into Lambda Sigma, a coed honors fraternity, and became a member of the National Society of Collegiate Scholars. Your most enjoyed courses throughout the year included PHL 105 (Fennen), COM 135 (Becker), and ENG 112 (Weaver). And though you came in without a clue of what you wanted to major in, by the end of the year you saw Strategic Communications as a perfect fit (thanks largely to your involvement in College Democrats and strong interest in your communication course).

Managing your time was a bit of an issue during your first semester. Suddenly being handed complete freedom to distribute your time in any manner that you deem acceptable, you had to learn how to properly balance friends, homework, classes, and extracurricular activities. Luckily, it didn’t damage your GPA as much as it did your sleeping patterns. By second semester, you found your pace and felt comfortable with the way in which you managed your time. You were even able to fit in a weekend job during the second semester, reminding you how much you enjoyed working because it gave you certain feelings of accomplishment and responsibility.

Oh, and you also got mono in the middle of spring semester. Yet you managed to not miss a single class or shift at work! Looking back, I really don’t know how you pushed yourself through that. But like I always say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Of course, you didn’t pass by without being the butt of your friends “kissing disease” jokes. But if it weren’t for their humor and uplifting attitudes, the experience would have been much more dreadful.

Soon, you’ll be packing up your belongings and making the trip back to little old Weston, Ohio. You deserve to know how much you have accomplished since the beginning of your Miami journey. You set off in the hopes of getting good grades and making new friends, and by the end of the year you did both and so much more. Not only did you make others proud (largely emphasizing your parents), but you also made yourself proud. I know how important being a humble individual is to you, but it’s okay to take a moment to reflect on the amazing things you have succeeded in obtaining. You set many of your standards and expectations high and as a result was rewarded with a better sense of self.

With that said, there is still a lot of ground to be gained and many new experiences to be encountered. You realize that you still have yet to learn how to lose gracefully, though after receiving your first “F” in college you feel slightly more prepared than you did 9 months ago. You also need to learn that you can’t also give up all your free time to helping others. Though it’s great to volunteer and offer your service, occasionally you need to slow down and set your priorities straight. This comes as no surprise though; you did the same exact thing in high school.

Congratulations on making it through your first year at Miami University. I’m glad that you feel that you found a school that fits you perfectly in most every aspect, and hopefully you continue to feel the same way for the remaining years. Sophomore year is already shaping up to look quite exciting and appears to be ready to offer you its own individual set of challenges that you are excited to encounter face to face. Enjoy your summer off with the family, friends, and coworkers you are ecstatic to spend time with!

Sincerely,
Chelsea

Ode To “FML” (Or Maybe Just Strict Review)

Calling all those with experience in the department of self-pity: looking for applicants who lack appreciation toward their daily blessings and often obsess over their shortcomings. If you feel like you are well qualified to incessantly prove that nothing in life meets your expectations, post it online for the entire world web to experience. Just be sure to include the phrase “fml” just so we all know how dreary things really are.

Sarcastic? Yes. However the “fml” (f— my life) craze is become a spreading sensation, largely due to the rising popularity of the website www.fmylife.com. Here, preteens, college students, and adults alike are encouraged to post a few short sentences that epitomizes an unfortunate event or, possibly, just terribly poor luck. The site has become so favorable to posters that it has even created individual categories in which stories to be sorted – love, money, kids, work, health, sex, and miscellaneous. Users are also pushed to rate their fellow fmylife enthusiasts’ stores. (With one click, you can proclaim “I agree… your life is f***ed”) And in a race to top each other’s misfortunes, people are become quicker to publicly exploiting their most embarrassing and shameful moments.

The purpose of this post is to question the effects of a competitive-driven site that thrives on users that view themselves as the winners of the sport of “my-life-is-more-terrible-than-yours”. Are people become overly consumed with thoughts of self-prescribed sympathy? With the sharp increase of “fml’s” floating over cyberspace, a safe conclusion can be made that yes, people are becoming unhealthy absorbed in their own mishaps all while losing perspective of what abundance they do have.

User Johnmac88 posted, “Today, I was reading a text from my girlfriend as i was paying for my shopping in a supermarket. As i was thinking what to reply, the woman behind the counter handed me my change. I got confused and said “Thank you, I love you!” FML” This is hardly an event that should cause any distress, but with the antagonizing voice of www.fmylife.com, any slight event can suddenly inflate out of proportion. There is no real reason for Johnmac88 to suddenly condemn himself. I’m sure that if he had taken his slip-up with the slightest amount of grace and even a slash of humor, he would have realized how silly the situation was.

An anonymous FML citizen reports, “Today, I was in a hurry to get to work. I pulled impatiently behind a long line of cars to make a right hand turn. I sat there for 5 minutes. Turns out there wasn’t a line to make a right hand turn. I had been waiting behind a line of parked cars. FML” Again a miniscule, albeit uncommon, happening is transformed into a treacherous disaster. More than likely, anonymous’ self-inflicted traffic jam went entirely unnoticed and should not have caused any damage to his or her self-esteem, yet “FML” still dominates the ending of this story.

Again, what does labeling life’s daily slip-ups as signals of a misfortunate life cause people to believe? Is it that they are truly cursed and prohibited from living a life with relative normalcy? What compels people to post their misfortunes and embarrassing moments for anyone to see? Maybe posters are trying to prove that their lives are the most “f***ed” up. Or perhaps they post then go on to read what others have written to see that the others have experienced situations fair worse than they have. With that in mind, they can continue their lives with the satisfaction that they are better off than the girl who ruined her sister’s expensive wedding cake by clumsily tripping on her shoelaces. It’s convoluted, building yourself up by watching others go down, but in many ways that is normal to our culture. Then again so is having the best story to tell, regardless of what you need to sacrifice to achieve that status. So it’s possible my first theory, where we tell stories to top each other, still remains the most reinforced.

Though www.fmylife.com has become quite the sensation, I struggle to catch on to the craze with a firm grasp. I am not much a supporter in the ways of self-pity, and I see this site as an outlet for the most ridiculous kinds of it. Terrible things happen everyday. Earthquakes in Italy, bridge collapses in Peru, and dealt protests in Thai, just to name a few recent events. Yet we have websites where people complain about someone boarding the wrong train or someone being stood-up for a date. Yes, annoying and slightly shameful events, but a bruised ego heals much more quickly than a broken heart caused by an actual disaster.

My main message: instead of counting all the misfortunes, consider for a moment the blessings. Some optimistic reassurance to prove that life is full of wonderful things cannot do a person harm.

We Live To Discover Beauty

When I was in second grade, I was certain of two occupations I would hold when I grew up: a dolphin trainer and a photographer. While my goals have altered quite a bit since my childhood – no more SeaWorld aspirations for me – much of me still enjoys going out and capturing pictures. And with today’s weather being nearly perfect, I seized the chance to go about my university and snap some photos of the things that captured my attention.

Some things are too beautiful for words. So here it is, Miami University through a photographic lens.

“How Can There Be Any Sin In Sincere?”

Any musical enthusiast, especially those familiar with “The Music Man”, are appreciative of the phrase “Ought to give Iowa a try!” Now, many in the gay and lesbian community are becoming well acquainted with the phrase as well. This past Friday, the Iowa Supreme Court unanimously ruled to overturn a decade-long ban on same sex marriage. Iowa, only the third state to legalize gay and lesbian marriage, made not only a bold move but also a historic one by amending the state constitution. Of course, this decision does not slip by without strong political opposition.

Personally, I am thrilled with the justices from the state of Iowa. Hopefully, other states around the nation will take Iowa’s decision into consideration when faced with the issue of gay and lesbian marriage. Clearly, the Iowa justices were able to recognize that the gay and lesbian community should be covered under the 14th Amendment’s Equal Protection Clause and it is my personal belief that, in time, other states will come to the same realization. As one of the most passion-fueled, controversial subjects to come into the political scene, Iowa’s decision has brought out some strong reactions on either end. I, too, feel extremely passionate about this subject. Why? Besides the fact that I have many friends and acquaintances within the gay and lesbian community, I cannot even begin to understand how anyone can be in support of denying perfectly decent people the right to marry like their heterosexual counterparts.

The subject of gay and lesbian marriage, along with other civil rights for these individuals, is something I can admittedly become extremely opinionated about. But bear with me as I combat the most stereotypical arguments raised by those who oppose amendments such as the one passed in Iowa last Friday. First, the extremists. In protest rallies, these people often display signs stating, “Homosexuals are possessed by demons” along with many other ridiculous, unfounded expressions. If a demon were to take a human form and walk among man, I highly doubt a demon would choose to be a homosexual. What devilish things are these people guilty of? Sodomy? Would Satan use sodomy as his way of destroying Christian morals? Most likely not. It isn’t as though gays and lesbians lack any moral or value systems. They are just as capable of being upstanding, respectable citizens as you or I. Therefore, I see no justification in denying them the rights that I, as a straight citizen, am guaranteed.

Another group strongly opposed to gay and lesbian marriage is the religious community (which can overlap with the extremists, but oftentimes they remain separate). There leading argument is that the Bible states sodomy as a sin, therefore gay and lesbians are living sinfully. Alright, if you want to use that argument, fine. But what happened to separation of church and state? Isn’t legislation meant to be kept apart from religious affiliations as to guarantee all citizens equal rights and equal protection of these rights? And of what concern is it to you? If you really believe God is going to punish these people for loving someone of the same sex, then that is for them to consider. Not you (I told you this subject tends to try some strongly opinionated statements from me).

Science is drawing an increasing amount of evidence that states that homosexual can indeed be connected to genetics. How can we, as Americans, deny people constitutional rights for genetics they cannot control? We have already done that multiple time throughout our history as a nation, and as recently as the past century by denying both African Americans and women the right to vote. Just as African Americans cannot control the color of their skin and women the outcome of their sex, there is a strong possibility that a homosexual’s genes ultimately determine whom they are attracted to.

Putting religion, science, and politics aside, this is love we’re talking about. Something extraordinary shared between two people. Not everyone is lucky enough to experience such a thing as love, and it is my personal belief that those who are should be given the right to ceremonially celebrate such love. One can argue that gays and lesbians do not need to be married to continue to love one another. But then again, neither do a man and a woman. Yet it is preposterous to even consider denying marriage rights to heterosexual couples who meet every marriage requirement. It’s an awful contradiction that needs to be put to an end.

The Civil Rights Movement took time and dedication from those who knew the fairness in allowing African Americans equal rights. Women’s suffrage took time and a similar dedication for a push toward equality as well. It is hard to find any American citizen today who would stand up, and more importantly be taken serious, and say that neither of these parties should enjoy the rights that were provided to them through Constitutional amendments. It is only a matter of time before the same is said concerning the gay and lesbian community. While I recognize that the change might be slow, if not painstaking, I am entirely confident that someday gay and lesbian marriage will become expected in our country. Until then, I will continue to hold firmly to my beliefs on the subject. On a final note, I try to remain objective when writing as to avoid offending any readers. But sometimes, sides have to be taken. If not, progress cannot be expected nor obtained. “If you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything”. In this case, I stand for gay and lesbian equality in not only marriage but also everyday American life.